AnnaLynne McCord Discusses Past Sexual Assault (Exclusive)

AnnaLynne McCord Discusses Past Sexual Assault (Exclusive)

AnnaLynne McCord has starred in “Dallas” and “90210,” but behind the glamorous smile, AnnaLynne has been dealing with some heart wrenching secrets. She opens up on Access Hollywood Live about being the victim of a sexual assault and how she is working to help other women gain the courage to speak up. How does AnnaLynne claim this cycle of abuse started in childhood? And, how does she say she antagonized men to be violent with her?

You can handle it. She star entered Dallas and Beverly hills and 90210 but she has been dealing with heart wrenching secret. Sexually assaulted when she first came to Hollywood that led to thoughts of suicide. Ready to reveal it all and working hard to help other women gain the courage to seek help including making a short film entitled I chofilm entitled I choose to fight. Let's begin your childhood. You begin there you describe it as strict. Conservative. Your dad was a pastor so there was spankings and paddle and the spoon. More on that. Well honestly there's a lot of religious doing may. What didn't make the article was my parents are my age and 3 toddlers and highly conditioned individual. Not great childhood themselves and. The same childhood like yours. S just repeating the steps the parents made. Which is very common. The American psychology association talks about the fact that it's an extensive and very you don't get out and educate yourself. It's expensive and abusive or in my opinion hitting a child in general is abusive. Parents most likely to do it, continue in that pattern. For me I'm breaking the cycle. I'm out. But my parents reached out to me when the article came out and I had a lot of closure. It was really amazing what came from it because my dad always has been like I don't know what I was thinking. And but with my mom I had a really, really wonderful conversation about what happened but I talked with her about the fact that the physical touch so on top of I don't believe you hit children because you are not going to hit your wife, right? 2 adults allowed to hit a small child but husband can't -- like where did you think we shouldn't protect the shouldn't protect the child too. They thought it was just punishment like a spaching. What exactly happened. You talk about the article having you put your arms over. Bending over the bed. For me it went too long into my teenager years and hit pish Ty and it became sexual in my mind. Violation mind. Violation in that regard. That wasn't their spwechbility I understand that. How old are you when, How old are you when, 13, 14. Yes. I remember certain point when I told my mom it was like my little sistlike my little sister you can't. Not any more. You can't. Can't. I was leaving. I was actually moving out. And I really, I really genuinely believe that for me, I'm always the person that will squeeze you hug you hold your hand so hitting me is saying I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. That's really I just because it was so traumatizing in that regard, I had to shut it off. So I shut off my sensation of my body. It was like whatever. Numb. And I need to become I guess we are all talking about how our extensive sex life. Me tori and everybody but in my personal, sex life no I don't feel anything. Do more whatever. Whatever. It was lit real I was so numb and couldn't, couldn't find intimacy. Intimacy wasn't happening because I had shut off that ability to connect. That's one of the most beautiful parts of a relationship. Yes. For me it was an act. Whatever. Sorry. Unless your family very religious. What were the talks of sex like in your household. Just even the thoughts and again this is the legal dog ma side of religion. Spirit at. Believing in something rather than yourself is wonderful when doing good for the world. When you are hitting people, hitting children, blowing things up killing people in the name of a god it's wrong. I'm sorry. It doesn't help our world in any way shape or form. So you at 12 years old you describe in some poetry on your web site your poetry. You describe also 12 years old that you took your own virginity because you didn't want someone else to have the power. Yes. I'll not tell you how I got the thing I did got the thing I did that with. Honestly I think that there, I was always, I got no a lot of trouble when I was young because I was, I stood up against the belief system in the religious background I have that women were subject miss I have to their husband. I thought it was crazy. I told my mom at nip years old. I have to do everything dad says my whole childhood and get married and do everything the dude says. I will never get married and have kid. I had all the ideal and that kind of, that was one of the things that came from it. Was about that it was a thing this is taking my power away. Taking my power away. I didn't see it as the beautiful thing. Cloud over you. Yes. It was really heavy especially for such a young girl. But to not be able to see my relationship, the love of my life. Dating right now you refer to prison break if you watch prison break then you know don for sure. Kind of fantastic. Took you awhile to get to this type of relationship. What were the early relationships like with men. Crazy. At 15 your parents got vorsd. Yes. You moved to Miami and you got a chance to live with some model and become a model. Yes. That was a dark period for you kind of exploration. I think so. Personally I think that I, at the time I would have told you oh, I like this. What I didn't know myself worth was sear O. Self-esteem was zero. Instead of being the girl the coward he was the one who pretended it was all okay. I lived a lie for a very long time. Into my career. Into my success. I continued to live that lie with the image that I projected. And as I remember I thought that I should have already had my first kiss so I asked a guy whether was like 19 would you kiss a girl who is under age and he was like come to my apartment. Okay. So I kissed him. Check that. Literally like the craziest. There was no connection at all. I didn't know whether a connection between a relationship and physical contact, 2 totally different things to me. You said I pushed men to be violent toward me at that time. Would you slap them while you were becoming interest mat with them. Yes. Try to get a reaction out of them and get them to hit you. Yes. I think I think that I took because I know that my parents love me and even as a child, you know, not all there's no real villain any.where we all have our demon. Bully was bullied that's why he became a bully. About so there's one side of me knew my parents loved me but then when I was hit it was like people who love me hit me. You need to hit me if you really love me and if you are not going to do it I will make you do it. That was, I drove some boys crazy I know. Reporter: We'll take a break come back in a minute here. We talk about moving to los Angeles at 18 and that's when the incident happened but we have a found diagnosis right now. Ann Lynn coming up. We are back with Ann Lynn