The sweaty “Bachelor” and “Bachelorette” rejects returned for two more glorious hours of searching for love on Sunday night’s “Bachelor in Paradise.”
The evening started off strong, with an early Lauren I. meltdown, and quickly spiraled into another tear-filled drama fest.
Here are our 5 fave moments:
Mikey’s Pick Up Line Fails: That Mikey T., man. He just does not get it. Rocking a horrible mini manbun, the meathead/beef heart tried his hardest (futilely) to impress Clare, who has basically been trying to shut him down since they met. Painful.
Lauren. Just… Lauren: Eyelashley Kardashley’s sister Lauren had a rough night. Surrounded by “old” 30-year-olds, Lauren just could NOT anymore, admitting that being in the heat and “around people” is literally “hell” for her. Plus, she’s gotta get home to her sort-of-boyfriend, because she’s happily a “mistress.” She capped off her Sunday performance with an unbelievably disgusting nose-blowing in the confessional, where she sobbed, “So many boogers – I can’t even get them out.”
Ashley I.’s Joshua Shade & Typical Ageist Moment: Joshua, the welder from Kaitlyn Bristowe’s “Bachelorette” season, arrived in paradise, and immediately began revealing his penchant for doing molly. Eyelashley was NOT all about the drug use, and threw major shade, with, “He’s a welder… from Idaho… who does molly?!” Ashley was later shocked and distraught when Jared chose to spend time with Clare. “Seriously? She’s 34… her eggs are almost DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!,” she said.
Kirk Goes Oprah: Mikey T. continued to try to force Clare into reciprocated romance, giving Kirk material for the best line of the night. “The poor guy just likes her so much… like Mikey’s wedding vision board is just RUINED.”
Whoever Smelt Joe, Dealt Joe: Joe was next level repulsive Sunday night – from his lack of verbal skills, to using Juelia’s love for her daughter to manipulate his way into a rose. Just when we thought he couldn’t gross us out any further, he farted in the vicinity of a female producer’s face, who said, “If you’re going to do that, at least close your legs.”
“Bachelor in Paradise” is all new Monday night at 8 PM on ABC.
— Erin O’Sullivan
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