Kathy Griffin Returns For More ‘D-List’

“This year has been action packed,” she said. “I perform in a prison — maximum security — Perryville State Penn. And I host the gay porn awards (which is not going to happen on ‘Heroes’).”

Speaking with Griffin is like watching a stand-up routine. She revealed (in her unique way) what it was like doing comedy in a prison.

“You know, when I did the prison they didn’t put any language restrictions on me, which was their mistake. But what I found was, the raunchier I was, the more they accepted me into their family. And by that, I mean the Aryan brotherhood,” she joked. “I had to chose a race the minute I walked in, that’s how it is. No, the prison was great. It was very challenging, and I was very nervous. Because the guards tell you if anything happens, ‘just run.’”

But Kathy revealed that she found a clever way to get over her anxiety:

“I did a show one night for the female guests — I call them ‘guests’ — and another night for the male guests, and I was super raunchy with the guys. And I found that if they were heckling me, if I threatened to go into the audience and have sex with them, it would sort of shock them into silence. Which is what I do on a date too, if the guy is being too yippy.”

As for the gay porn awards, Griffin was characteristically frank:

“What can I say about the gay porn awards? Very moving, very emotional. You know — it’s probably like going to a Christian revival except without the Christians. They honestly treat it like you’re getting the Nobel Peace Prize. They cry, and they thank the Lord, and they thank their moms. Then they talk about their penis size, like very matter of fact. You know, like “thank God for Jesus and my 12 inch co--.”

But it was the porn stars’ politeness that really bowled Griffin over.

“By the way, [they’re] the most polite group of guys you’ll ever meet,” she said. “They’re in movies like ‘The D--ks of Hazzard’ and backstage they’re just like, ‘hello Ms. Griffin, may I get a photo Ms. Griffin.’ I’m like, what kind of porn star are you? Bend over and start waxing your ass or something — make it worth my while.”

Kathy became a bit more serious, however, when the subject of Rosie and “The View” came up.

“I’m actually co-hosting on May 16th,” she revealed. “I am so looking forward to co-hosting ‘The View’ because I love Rosie, and I’m really disappointed that she’s leaving. You know, she really infused life into that show, and she brought something to that show that made it relevant again. She really brought something special, so I hope they find somebody good [to replace her].”

And what of the rumors that Griffin herself may be considered as a potential replacement?

“Oh, I would to do it, it’s a blast,” she exclaimed. “I love those girls, it’s a very fun show to do, and you know it would be a huge change for my life of course, but it would be a blast.”

She added, “I might be on the ‘C list’ if I do that show.”

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