ROLL CALL: Lindsay Lohan’s Assistant About To Exit?

Your Daily Dispatch of Celebrity Shenanigans

LiLo’s Assistant About To Exit?: Lindsay Lohan has only had a new assistant for a little over a week, but according to TMZ, the former Hollywood talent agency intern is already considering leaving his new gig as Lindsay’s hired right hand guy. No word if during the job interview he was required to style up a SCRAM or prove that he could send out a series of incoherent whiny Tweets.

Jake Enjoys The View At Lakers Game: Jake Gyllenhaal might have been at Game 7 of the NBA Finals between the Boston Celtics and the Los Angeles Lakers on Thursday night, but the newly single actor appeared to have been more interested in the action in the stands. Eyes on the court Jake!

Heidi Montag Is Dating Someone?: While we stopped caring about her for a minute, Heidi Montag reportedly started dating someone new. According to Radar Online, the plastic surgery-loving reality starlet is dating Cougar Zank…are you done laughing at that name yet? The supposed couple is reportedly shopping around details – for the reported bargain basement price of $30,000 – on their alleged relationship. If a media outlet is stupid enough to drop that much money on these two, a video of the two of them picnicking is also included. For some reason guys named after wild mountain cats and sexually charged middle aged women don’t seem like they should picnic.

RiRi Heats Up The Pool: And in case Jake didn’t get lucky with his Lakers lady friend – he can always admire Rihanna – who was spotted rocking her red hair and an equally hot bikini in Barbados on Friday. TGIRiRi!