Top Ten TV Quotes Of The Week (Oct. 3, 2008)

#10 — “I know. When I see myself looking this good I get horny too.”
–NBC’s “My Name is Earl”
Joy to Earl when he tries to get a morning quickie before she goes to work.

#9 — “In my world everyone is always judging you, except when you are judging them.”
— MTV’s “Paris Hilton’s My New BFF”
Paris Hilton watching on a monitor the eighteen contestants who are vying to be her best friend.

#8 — “His beloved wife died giving birth to me.”
— CW’s “Gossip Girl”
Chuck Bass revealing to Dan why his relationship with his father Bart is strained. He later reveals it was a lie. Or was it? Stay tuned.

#7 — “Don’t listen to her Ando. She’s trying to divide us. Its Villainy 101.”
— NBC’s “Heroes”
Hiro trying to persuade Ando that his nemesis, Daphne the speedster, is just trying to turn his pal against him by saying Ando is Robin to Hiro’s Batman.

#6 — “He’s a real ‘whiz’ in advertising.”
— AMC’s “Mad Men”
Paul Kinsey making light of the fact that a drunken Freddy Rumsen accidentally urinated on himself in front of coworkers right before a big presentation.

#5 — “You know someone else my age with a body like this?”
— ABC’s “Desperate Housewives”
Edie Britt in a leopard-print bikini and washing her car after the ladies of Wisteria Lane inquire “Edie is that really you?”

#4 — “I’m so numb up there I wouldn’t know if you hit bone.”
— ABC’s “Ugly Betty”
Wilhelmina putting her new assistant Betty Suarez at ease about injecting her with Botox.

# 3 — “Here is a guy who knew that what you needed to do as a human on this planet was take care of your fellow humans and he never faltered from that commitment.”
— CBS’s “Late Show with David Letterman”
David Letterman paying tribute to his good friend who passed this week, Paul Newman, who besides being an amazing actor in his lifetime raised 250 million dollars for charity.

#2 — “I have a vast variety of sources where we get our news. Alaska isn’t a foreign country where it’s kind of suggested… ‘Wow, how could you keep in touch with what the rest of Washington DC may be thinking and doing when you live up there in Alaska?’ Believe me, Alaska is like a microcosm of America.”
— “CBS Evening News”
One of Governor Sarah Palin’s many circular sound bites given to Katie Couric during her exclusive interviews. This one given after Couric pushes her to give her a specific example of which newspapers or magazines she reads to get her news and information about what’s going on in the world and Washington.

#1 — “Katie I’d like to use one of my lifelines. I’d like to phone a friend”
— NBC’s “Saturday Night Live”
Tina Fey as Governor Sarah Palin, to Amy Poehler, as Katie Couric, after she is pushed to answer the question “What lessons have you learned from Iraq and how specifically would you spread Democracy abroad?”

Thanks to staffers Alex Cook and Eugene Monzon for their help this week!