VALENTINE ROLL CALL: Britney, Drew, Sandra & More!

Your Daily Dispatch of Celebrity Shenanigans by Tommy Vergason

Valentine’s Day Edition

Nothing Says ‘Love’ Like Calling Someone ‘Bigot’: Even though Sandra Bullock is madly in love, she’s got the urge to “slap” someone – namely, anyone who questions her about when she and husband Jesse James are going to have kids. Sandra tells IN STYLE magazine in its upcoming March issue that her two rescued dogs are her babies, and that’s the way it’s going to stay for now, the ASSOCIATED PRESS reports. As for her marriage to the “Monster Garage” host, Sandra says that her first impression of him wasn’t necessarily a good one: “I assumed he was a homophobic chauvinist, a bigot who kills people,” she reportedly says in the interview, “and later I felt saddened by my assumptions because I wondered how many times I had written off people who truly were real.” Bullock and James met in 2003 and married in July of 2005.

Garbage-Picking Valentine: Drew Barrymore recalls the first crush she ever had on a boy, when THE NEW YORK POST’s CINDY ADAMS questions her about it in honor of Valentine’s Day. It turns out that Drew remembers it well, because the boy broke her heart, and her feelings literally ended up in the garbage: “Once, when he passed close by, I quickly, nervously threw a love letter into a nearby garbage pail,” she tells Cindy, “and when he disappeared and was not looking anymore, I went into that garbage and retrieved it.”

A Tear In His Beer?: An “American Idol” finalist from last year is reportedly going through a rough time with his love-life, as PEOPLE claimsthat country crooner Bucky Covington has split from his wife of seven years. “This is a difficult time for both of us and I would ask that everyone respect our privacy,” Bucky says in a statement released by his record label. No other details of the separation are known at this time.

Never Kiss And Tell: Another celebrity who wants his privacy respected is Lance Armstrong, who tells the ASSOCIATED PRESS that when it comes to his romantic pursuits, he’s learned not to talk. Dating in the public eye is “so hard,” Armstrong tells the AP. “It puts too much strain and unrealistic expectations on a relationship when you put it out there. It’s tough when you love somebody and you want to be with them, you want to talk about them. It’s not easy, but I think it is by and large better not to talk about it.” PEOPLE notes that Lance hasn’t been linked with any women in particular since his relationship with Sheryl Crow ended, but that the press had a good time analyzing and questioning his close friendship with Matthew McConaughey. Armstrong addressed the insinuations to DETAILS magazine in October, when he jokingly said “We tried it. Wasn’t for us.”

Hollywood Crushes On Cruz: Oscar nominee Penelope Cruz has been showered with love, although not of the romantic variety. Ms. Cruz was honored by a group of her peers at a big bash the other night, according to THE NEW YORK POST’s LIZ SMITH. Among the reported guests: Prince, Leonardo DiCaprio, Sharon Stone, Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore, Jada Pinkett Smith, Mischa Barton, Eva Longoria, Rosie Perez and Ridley Scott.

No Bag For You!: THE NEW YORK DAILY NEWS alleges that Britney Spears may not be getting any love from a certain fashionista, and goes so far as to claim that a rumored snub may be the reason Britney was a no-show at the Heatherette fashion show in New York last week. According to the DAILY NEWS, a fashion source says that Britney had wanted to be presented with an original handbag designed by heiress-model Lydia Hearst and Heatherette’s Richie Rich and Traver Rains, and promised that she would carry it to her front-row seat to be photographed. According to the source, Hearst politely declined her “offer,” which was allegedly due to Hearst thinking that Britney isn’t a good role model. Hearst , while not addressing Britney directly, said to the DAILY NEWS, “I’m only giving the bag to accomplished young women who are doing something positive to affect the world around them. They are women I look up to and respect, like Gwyneth Paltrow and Sarah Jessica Parker and Anne Hathaway. They share the same high standards of giving back to the communities in which they live.”

The Naked Truth: “Queer Eye” star Carson Kressley is pairing with Lifetime to help some women learn to love themselves, according to VARIETY. He has reportedly signed on to host “How to Look Good Naked,” a new reality show based on a British series in which women are challenged to change their perceptions of themselves without resorting to radical diets or plastic surgery. Greg Goldman, a co-producer of the series, tells VARIETY that the show is about “boosting self-confidence and learning how to feel good about yourself.” The pilot is scheduled to be shot later this month.

Wonder-ful News For ‘Smallville’ Fans: And finally, here’s a tidbit sure to make your “inner geek” have a heart palpitation: Lynda Carter, the living embodiment of comic-book icon Wonder Woman, is slated to guest star on the CW’s “Smallville” later this season, says E! ONLINE’s Kristin Veitch. Although she won’t be playing the “wondrous” role she’s famous for, she WILL be playing a regular cast member’s mother. Look for her appearance in the April 12th episode of this “super” show!