Create Intimacy Through 'Pillow Talk'

Create Intimacy Through 'Pillow Talk'

“Pillow Talk” can increase intimacy and lead to a better sex life. Doctors Bill and Ginger Bercaw chat with Billy Bush and guest co-host Suzanne Somers on Access Hollywood Live on the importance of making a connection with your partner in the bedroom and beyond. The Bercaws’ book, “From the Living Room to the Bedroom: the Modern Couple’s Guide to Sexual Abundance and Lasting Intimacy,” is available now.

doctors bill and ginger Berkoff after these messages from your The authors of from the living room to the bedroom. The modern couple's guide to sexual abundance. I love that word, abundance. It's so hopeful and positive. Abundance is my life. They are with us this morning to discuss creating inmasy for pillow talk. Are there rules for pillow talk? Sfli always say a healthy person is a sexual person. It's part of who we are. What aren't we supposed to say? What are the rules for pillow talk? First let's talk about what it is. I think it's the conversation that takes place between lovers after sex. But we find it helpful to include not just what's going on in the bedroom but the ways you're feeling towards your partner, as well. Sometimes pillow talk is going to be sexual. It's always going to be intimate. And it's the one conversation you're only going to have would your partner. I was thinking about a lot of younger people I know that are so driven and stressed and the mother is raising Uber children now and the father is working to make it and they're almost at the verge of having a mid life crisis and nobody has time for one another. That kind of resentment that can build up when you're not getting what you need from one another, right? Why are we together as couples? I think the object is for connection. And attention. Absolutely. But you're so right. We're so busy and pulled in a million different directions. How many times did you see couples out at dinner and they're both on their phones? There isn't that connection. You need that face-to-face eye contact to really build those strong bonds. Is this a bad thing? Sometimes Allen and I are in bed together with our iPhones. It's either before or after because it's either always before or after. Never during. Right. And we text each other because we're -- I go are you interested in this and I send it over to him and he's right here. I was thinking we should check that out later on. You're both engaged in it, but it goes through social media. Just make sure when you hit send, it's with Allen. But I think the point you make, especially in the beginning of the book of how you fall in love, there is that stage of falling in love where you can't get enough of each other. And then what happened? I wrote a poem about this in the '70s. It was called when did it happen to us? We're all aware of the demands. If we get lazy, we start to drift. Pillow talk is a great way to intentionally put yourself back in front of each other and give the best of yourself and let your partner now how you see the best of them, also. So this is post love making positive chatter, right? No. It's not even time to chat about did you book a car for mom, those details, you have to keep those out. No. And it doesn't only have to be pro sex. Pillow talk can be anytime you're in bed and you want to share something positive. It's connecting. No, you want to keep it positive, for sure. You want to make sure you're putting out some passionate, romantic energy. And by the way, a simple way of doing that, use your partner's name. How often do we just say you, you, you. Or worse. Or hon. Use the name, it adds another layer of intimacy. But don't bring up criticisms, complaints, those heavy issues, that's not for pillow talk. No details. Or that moment that poets write about, that's the time where you go, I'm overdrawn! I know what that means. The pictures of the children in the family should be off the table, right? Is that, as well, in the bedroom? Absolutely. Definitely not. You want your bedroom to really just be about -- it needs to be a very comfortable, relaxing place, nothing that has stressors around it. So no piles of bills, no clutter, definitely not your in-laws on your bed. And not the kids. You don't want to turn them around because that's a little disrespectful, but keep it hot. Absolutely, keep it hot. Alan likes to watch war. Like history channel stuff? He is addicted. Gets him going? He is nazi crazed, loves to watch the military channel or if it's not that, it's national geographic with animals eating animals. He watched something else last night and I picked up on that Intel in the hallway and we will address Allen on that front in just a second. But thank you, guys. It's a good book. From the living room to the bedroom, the modern couple's guide to lasting intimacy. Husband Alan as some splaining