Fantasia On Overdose: 'I Just Wanted Out'

Fantasia poses backstage during the Vh1 Upfront 2010 at Pier 59 Studios in New York City on April 20, 2010 Fantasia poses backstage during the Vh1 Upfront 2010 at Pier 59 Studios in New York City on April 20, 2010

Fantasia Barrino is speaking out about her recent overdose saying it was no accident and that she wanted to die.

“I didn’t have any fight in me. I didn’t care about anything. I just wanted out,” the 26-year-old singer said in a new interview with VH1’s “Behind The Music,” as first reported by People and confirmed by VH1 for Access Hollywood.

“At that moment, I wanted out. I wanted it to be over with – all of it, all of that [expletive],” she said in the interview airing Tuesday on VH1 at 9 PM. “I just sat in the closet and looked at the mirror and took all the pills in the bottle. I wanted to go to sleep and just be at peace. I knew exactly what I was doing. You can’t accidentally take a whole bottle of pills.”

Adding, “I was tired of people doing me wrong, constantly, over and over again, dealing with my family – my father, dealing with men and their [expletive] – I was tired… my head was hurting me. I was over it.”

The singer also spoke about her problems with Antwaun Cook and his estranged wife Paula.

“When I met him, he was separated … wasn’t living in his home. He didn’t want to be back with his wife – that is what I was told,” Fantasia explained. “I remember waking up in the hospital [and thinking], ‘It didn’t work, I’m still here in this hellhole. Still here with all this drama going on.’”

The singer said that her nurse in the hospital helped her through the struggle.

“My nurse Melanie was a blessing into my life because she didn’t tell me what I wanted to hear. She told me what I needed to hear. And she looked at me and said, ‘You gotta get up, and you’ve gotta get out of here, ‘cause you haven’t fulfilled your destiny,’” Fantasia continued. “I realized how people end up in the grave. Because that one moment of just breaking or feeling like I can’t, I can’t go on, it’s too heavy. That was somewhere I don’t ever want to go again.”

The singer’s manager, Brian Dickens, who was also interviewed, recalled the chilling moment when he found Fantasia following her overdose.

“Her emotions were extremely low. She’d been crying all day. Fantasia was just numb. Fantasia texted me, saying ‘I love you.’ I wrote back, ‘I love you more.’ Then it hit me,” he said. “I wrote, ‘You better not do anything or think about doing anything stupid.’ And I left it at that. About 10 minutes later, Fantasia texted me back, and she said, ‘Already did.’ I went into Fantasia’s room and saw her on the floor, and my heart just dropped.”

In addition to her new VH1 interview, Fantasia will release her third album, “Back to Me” on the same day.

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