Katy Perry released the video for her hit, “Dark Horse,” on Thursday and it is… beyond.
The blindingly colorful vid features the 29-year-old singer as a junk food-loving Cleopatra-esque entity, in Memphis, Egypt (yes, that’s a real thing and not a far-reaching Elvis reference).
Here are AccessHollywood.com’s 10 best moments from “Dark Horse”:
Someone’s got the munchies in Egypt!: Queen Katy is approached by multiple suitors in the video, who arrive bearing gifts. While one brings a grapefruit-sized diamond, another arrives with a giant bowl of flamin’ hot Cheetos, y’all!! (Britney? Did you write the treatment for this clip?) Servants also carry platters of pink and purple cupcakes and a pyramid made of Twinkies.
Cheesy Sphinx: So who delivers the song’s distorted “There’s no goin’ back” line, you ask? That honor was bestowed on upon the giant sphinx head atop Katy’s throne, whose eyes and mouth light up and glow like a hole-in-one statue from an ‘80s mini-golf course.
Booty-poppin’ Smurf servants and cat dancers: Surrounded by threats to the throne, Katy is completely safe as she’s guarded by Smurf-blue servants who WERK their business. In addition to the Smurfs, there are gold-clad dancers wearing white cat heads. So, basically, protection detail – handled.
Cleopatra Marilyn Monroe: Katy’s Cleopatra (Kleopatra?) gets her “The Seven Year Itch” on during a wide shot of Katy on a boat in a river. Wearing a wispy white dress, Katy’s attempts to hold her dress down while it blows upward. Cheers to this Egyptian Marilyn moment!
Juicy J’s Pimp’d Chariot: Rapper Juicy J arrives to woo Katy in style… and by style, we mean a tricked out golden chariot, complete with spinners, bouncing hydraulics and fuzzy dice.
Egyptian Valentine’s Day headdress realness: Queen Katy’s headpiece looks like a candy store threw up on a heart-shaped interpretation of a cobra? Just watch it… it must be seen to be understood.
On that pole: Queen Katy takes a break from her throne and gets a little stripper pole time in. Hey, royalty’s got to keep it right and tight if she wants to keep drawing in the Cheetos-bearing suitors.
Jiff the Pomeranian/Dog Pharaoh: The Most Adorable Award goes to: Jiff, the Pomerian, who dances down a carpet up to Katy’s throne. So cute. And in another canine moment, the video ends with Katy shrinking a Pharaoh-like man into a tiny dog with a creepy human face.
Let me see your grrrrrrill!: Like any good queen should, Katy flashes a smile wearing a blingy grill.
Sand-vanquishing: When Katy is displeased, she puts on her best fierce face and shoots purple lightning from her hands, effectively dissolving the victim into sand. (We would like to have this power.)
Honorable mention goes to Katy’s amazing cat-eye makeup, multiple wig looks and manicure game. And on behalf of the gold lamé industry, we’d also like to thank Katy for spiking sales to levels not seen since the ‘80s.
-- Erin O’Sullivan
Copyright 2014 by NBC Universal, Inc. All rights reserved.
This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.