By Jesse Spero

LOS ANGELES, Calif. --

Your Daily Dispatch of Celebrity Shenanigans

Kermit Kisses Lady Gaga & Tells: Who knew bringing a frog as your date to the VMAs would cause such a commotion – but were Kermit and Gaga actually on a real date? People got to the bottom of the supposed fairytale night between Lady and amphibian. “Well, I wouldn’t really call it a ‘date’ – at least not if I don’t want to end up as a coat for Miss Piggy. Y’see, I just gave Lady Gaga a ride to the VMAs, and when Lady Gaga left her credentials in the limo, I had to bring them to her. (On the off-chance security didn’t recognize her. Hey, it could happen.) Of course, after Lady Gaga and I were seen on the red carpet together, well … Miss Piggy got a little jealous. But I definitely did get a ride home – in the trunk!” Kermit told the mag. “As far as kissing Lady Gaga goes: she is a very good kisser, but it was not a romantic kiss. It was a kiss for good luck. Kissing a frog is good luck for the person giving the kiss – but bad luck for the frog if his pig finds out.” As for future nights out with music’s hottest lady, the frog appears to be playing hard to get. “We don’t have anything planned, but I’m sure Lady Gaga and I will run into each other again soon. That is, unless Miss Piggy gets that restraining order against her.” Piggy, we’re here if you need to tell your side of the story… or just Twitter it! That is, if you can Tweet with a hoof?

Madonna’s Brother Slams Her VMA Look: Christopher Ciccone continues to work himself out of Madonna’s will. The estranged brother to the Queen of Pop crawled out from under his rock of obscurity to weigh in on Madonna’s fashion choices at Sunday’s VMAs. “She looked like Rachel Zoe gone horribly wrong!” Ciccone told E! News. He also took aim at Madge’s current beau, model and aspiring DJ Jesus Luz, saying, “It proves the point that you can judge a person by the company they keep— or don’t keep.” And the familial love didn’t stop there. “It’s painfully apparent that Jesus may be able to turn water into wine, but your basic blow dryer eludes him,” he continued. Hear that silence Chris? It’s the sound of no one caring what you have to say.

Nick Jonas Gets A Piano & Ping-Pong Table For Birthday: What exactly do you get a JoBro for his birthday? Apparently things that start with the letter “p.” People reported that Nick scored a piano and a ping-pong table for his big 17th. “It’s actually the piano I wrote ‘A Little Bit Longer’ on. It’s definitely got a special meaning for me,” he said. The crew of “Camp Rock 2 The Final Jam” also got the teen superstar a sweet Kettler ping-pong table. We’re betting Nick schools both Joe and Kevin with the paddle!

George Clooney Gets Marked: That’s right Elisabetta Canalis! You go on and mark your territory! Major props – Roll Call!

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