Porsha Williams Opens Up On Painful Divorce

Porsha Williams Opens Up On Painful Divorce

Porsha Williams talks with Billy Bush and Kit Hoover on Access Hollywood Live about the personal struggles that caused her to reach her boiling point on the “Real Housewives of Atlanta” reunion special. How difficult was it being on camera while her marriage to former NFL quarterback Kordell Stewart was falling apart?

As much as I want to get over him, being around the different women talking about children and babies paid me think about the him fly that I wanted and the family that we shared. Real house which was of Atlanta staatlanta stars par shah Williams, a lot in her personal life and end of the marriage to formto former NFL quarterback Mr. Stewart and explosive fight at the Atlanta housewives Rae union. There was a fight? What are you talking about? Any way but it did end with a fabulous and beautiful mug shot and give you credit for that. Oh, my goodness. One of the best. You lack great in that shot. Look that the right there. Thank you. When you knew you had to get that. Did we do hair and make up the lips are fantastic. I did. I had to turn myself in. So I had time to kind of look nice or whatever. Wasn't the best idea once I got in there because once I got in there I'm all glam out and I was actually in jail. There were actually, you know, other prisoners there around me and everything so it just I was trying to make lemon -- lemonade out of lemon. What the did other prisoners say to you. Did they know you from the show. They d.they did. It They d.they did. It was men, women, we all were together and they were all yelling my name and everything leak that. That's a warm welcome. Reporter: Before we get to the reyawn let me ask you about what we uses saw and that is the, we basically this past season on the relevant housewives of Atlanta your marriage to kor Dell Stewart was come apart was it hard to watch that. It was. We are supposed to blog for our show and to blog you have to end up how it was edited and I didn't blog this season because it was difficult for me. A lot of what I gave the camera was my truth and it was just so hard to dig deep and just be that transparent about something so hurtful. But what did end up helping me midway through season, I decided to turn to music because I just kept building up feelings and building up feelings. Being on some of the other women they were being judgmental about the situation and just kind of, you know, I couldn't lean on a couple of them. Most of them were really supportive but some of them weren't. Why were they judging on with him. I just fell like well mainly it's like people who want to stay karma and saying that maybe my divorce was karma or whatever just not being L sensitive to the situation. But I had a great support system but I lend on music and I got in the studio and I worked on a song called flat line and it actually embodies all of the emotions that I was going through at the time. Looks like domestic abuse in the scene when you watch this video. Yes. Video does touch on domestic violence. Some abuse that I encountered in my marriage. It's not exact to what I went through. Because really honestly what I wept through was a little bit worse than some instances. Reporter: Whether happened to you, what happened in the marriage. Well, abuse. Reporter: What kind. Physical and mental. Reporter: Did he hit you. Yes. Reporter: He hit you. Yes. Repeatedly. There were several different occasions that this happened and. Reporter: Was this the way fights argument escalate an get physical d.that pretty much happen regularly. Not every single argument. You know because when you are in an abusive situation it just kind of builds and starts to get worse and worse and, you know, people ask me why didn't you tell anybody or call the police or what have you. I thought that I could make it better. Lick I honestly thought that after each situation would I change this. I would change that and therefore the out come wouldn't be the same. And it doesn't work like. That I work like. That I didn't realize that I'm still realizing it now, a lot of what happened it wasn't my fault. I blame myself a lot during that. Like I said in the song flat line I'm talking about, you know, flat lining on love and wanting to give up on life because when you are married the way I was and how I was there, that was my everything. If I couldn't make that work it was offer for me across the board. Reporter: Let's take a peek and new music video for flat line. ♪♪ ♪♪ Oh, baby oh, baby I'm saying baby ♪♪ ♪♪ saying baby I'm saving baby. Does he admit to the abuse. When we were going through the divorce process, you know, we had to sit in deposition Haring and there wasn't denial. He didn't deny it. Reporter: Blind-sided by the divorce, though. Yes. Reporter: You would think after what you went through you want nothing more than to file your own L divorce papers. That's true. These true but a lot of women who are in situations like I was in, I wanted to make it better. I was praying every day. I was cooking. I was smiling and outside appearance was as if nothing was happening. Even though you have been abused you still love that person. You are just training to love them through it and you are trying to pray through it and not realizing you can't change a person they have to change themselves. Reporter: Do you ever go to the hospital because of any kind of. No. No. I didn't. I if he ever went to the hospital. I never reported anything. Reporter: Any advice I believe injuries. There were. There were. But I tell you the ones that stuck with me the most is the mental abuse. The mental. Reporter: Lake what being called. Just me -- I had so much parade in being a wife. And being a mother and what that meant to me was big so for me to be told that I was lazy and this I was stupid and that I wasn't good enough and that nothing could I do was rightnothing could I do was right, that was really, really hard on me and because every day being a housewife you are trying. That is your job as a housewife to be the best. And when someone is constantly ridiculing you. Always trying to live up to what that person thinks is mewhat that person thinks is me, it's hard. A lot of rumor swirling around Cordel and things written out there that he's in fact gay. Any response to that. Reporter: You called him queen. Queen sometimes. Well, you know I call a lot of people queen honestly. We take on the lingo of the queens and we say that now. We call a woman a queen. A child acting crazy. You lift up your dress from the rehersal dinner. It wasn't me call him necessarily gay. I haven't spoke on that and I won't because to me that's his life. Whatever that is, if he says he isn't I guess that's what he wants you all to believe. For me, I'm concerned about Porsche and being better and growing from what I went through. Reporter: You said he wants to us believe that. How was the interest may situation during marriage? Did you guys regularly connect in life too. Oh, Reporter: Did that occur and going on. Well yes we were a married couple so of course we had sex. If thaes that's the aichbilitys it did change but when you are in a relationship and someone is using is being controlling and they are using that as power, they use money. They use sex. They use anything to make you think that you are not worth it. Worthy of better and for me in the marriage I thought I had in self worth. So it went until I got out of the marriage that I relevantizeed you know I'm very valuable. I bring a lieutenant to the taichbility I am a great wife and intelligent smart and beautiful and now I know who I am and belong to. So I will never accept that again. Your mom was very wary of him. Do you keep one his son. Do you stay close. I don't speak on that publicly. I don't speak on that. Reporter: I wonder is this a case of you know the interest may situation dies out and then he, is he bust it on you saying like something wrong with you that's why when maybe there's something that's not so comfortable with him? You know what, those were the same questions that I asked myself when I was in my guest room which was why is the marriage where it's at marriage where it's at rate now. And a lot of what was happening in that room, in the dark for me was share shah blaming Porsche. I will blame myself behinds doors and in the public would I take it and put the face on lick everything was perfect and you can't live a lie. You have to live your truth and you know this videotruth and you know this video, you know, people use video for entertainment but for me it was me releasing that. You know. And I had to do that. It's emotional process. It's emotional for me to sit here and hear the song. Every time I hear the song it affects me in a way of knowing where I was and also seeing where I am now. Just part one of our interview with Porsche. We reached out to Cordel in the domestic abuse alleges he told us quote it's not true. I have never abused her. Never put my hands on her. Never. He also denied the guys rumor as well. Well tomorrow on "Access Hollywood live", Porsche on the housewives fight heard round the reality world. Does Sheree great what she did to Kenia and that is not just pulling her hair but, you know, dragging her across the floor. Will she poll Jays and with either of them be back on the show. Why her history of being bullied played a part in her reaction later on. By the way gets very, very emotional. Preview of the interview later this morning on this show. Oh, and then we have got the woman in the middle of the madness. That is Atlanta housewife Cynthia Bailey. Don't forget sympathy Ya right there. In fact Kenya reached right across Cynthia in order to stick that thing in her face. Right boob. Right boob the casualty of the whole thing. A lot to talk to her about. Keep it here about plugged in