Reenergize The Sexual Connection With Your Man

Reenergize The Sexual Connection With Your Man

Statistics indicate 20 to 40 percent of men struggle with low sex drive. Doctors Bill and Ginger Bercaw, authors of “From the Living Room to the Bedroom,” join Billy Bush and Kit Hoover on Access Hollywood Live with signs and solutions to the problem. What can partners do to help? Their book, “From the Living Room to the Bedroom: the Modern Couple’s Guide to Sexual Abundance and Lasting Intimacy,” is available now.

Every day? 20% to 40% of men suffer from low sex drive. Here with signs and solutions to the problem, so when I saw the statistics, how common is this, really? It's actually a lot more common than most people think. Yes, statistically, at least one in five men will struggle with low sex drive at some point in their lives. It's the kind of thing that really flies under the radar because it runs so on counter to our gender roll expectations that both partners are usually too uncomfortable to deal directly with it or talk about it. But is it a problem? Like do men say, god, I wish I wanted more? Why don't I want it? And it becomes that kind of painful struggle, or are they just -- I don't want it. It's a marriage killer. I mean, the couples we see in our offices, this is not a run-of-the-mill, oh, well, we're having a bad week. It's been going on for a long time and it's really causing problems. What are the factors that can cause this? Well, we tend to look at four different areas. The first one is the medical. And we always want to rule out any disease, illness, medication, side effects or low testosterone. If that is low, desire is ams always dampened. The next thing you look at are relationship dynamics. If there's a lot of conflict, that damp thens desire. We also are looking for chronic sexual dissatisfaction and chronic sexual dysfunction. The next are lifestyle issues. So you're looking at excessive drinking, obesity, a sedentary lifestyle. But the final area that we're really looking at more and more that I think will surprise a lot of people is the impact of online pornography for decreasing desire in men. Decreasing? Decreasing. That's the thing. It's counterintuitive. It's totally counterintuitive. So you go to zero to 60 online. And then when you're -- when it's personal, you're not going from zero to 60. That's the problem. And here is the biggest issue. Parents have to keep an eye on kids, especially if you have boys, because these porn apps, check your kid's phone. I'm telling you, in your household, we have a rule. No passwords. You don't have a password until you're paying your own way. Because boys get these apps on there and show them to girls. That ruins their natural -- right? Their natural desire. And it changes their expectations for sex. So it goes from being very intimate and connecting and warm to -- just like you were saying, it's warm and when you're in a relationship, it's not always going to on be that intense. What's the plan of action? What can you do to fix this, to make this better? Go through our checklist again, rule out any disease, illness, check your testosterone levels, for sure. Is that a quick and easy test? It's a blood test. You'll get a range and they'll let you know if it's high or low. Can you do what Suzanne Summers does and rub the cream all over her? There is man cream. For a Normal, married couple, what should be -- how many times a week should we be into it? It's 2.37 times. No, it's not. No, it's not. There is no -- Sorry, honey, tonight is only 0.37 so don't get all excited. And we're done. We encourage couples to think of it as a range. What would be a minimally okay number of times per week or per month? What would be a great week or a great month? And how can we protect the time we need to keep falling into that range? I need a vacation week. I'm great on vacation. Seven days a week. They're both in the living room to the bedroom, the modern couples, guys with sexual abundance.