ROLL CALL: 'Housewives' Unleashed! New Song & Gay 'Housewives'! Plus, Guacamole With Gwenie!

Your Daily Dispatch of Celebrity Shenanigans

The Day The Music Died: After “Tardy for the Party” and “Money Can’t Buy You Class” does the world need another “Housewives” song? According to Jersey “Housewife” Danielle Staub – who is recording a duet with singer Lori Michaels – it sure does… and prepare yourself for five versions of it! “It’s a song about having commitment issues — one person is leaving, the other person is staying,” the reality mom told People, further explaining that there will be multiple remixes of the song. “It’s called ‘Real Close’ because you want to pull the person closer.” So, does Danielle actually have any experience as a singer? “I sang in an R&B band when I was a young teen,” she said. “It’s been a long time since I exercised [my musical chops] but when I was sitting down going over Lori’s music, this song grabbed me.” Our iPod (and ears) are quivering at the thought of this – more than likely – musical train wreck!

Money Can Buy You A Countess!: Speaking of singing “Housewives,” NYC’s Countess (isn’t she no longer a Countess? Or still calling herself that?!) LuAnn de Lesseps apparently does have a price! According to the New York Post’s Page Six, the “Real Housewives of New York City” star was recently auctioned off at Miracle House’s recent benefit in New York. A lunch with the “Housewife” with the most manners went for $5,000 to Hedge-fund wiz Jim Chanos – who reportedly requested that LuAnn wear her old nurse’s uniform to the lunch – way to make a charity event super gross Jim.

Meet The “Gay Housewives” of NYC: Who says the “Housewife” life is just for the ladies? Logo is launching a gay version inspired by the popular reality series, tentatively titled “The A List,” and Gawker.com had uncovered the cast. The most notable star is Lance Bass ex and “Amazing Race” winner Reichen Lehmkuhl. See the rest of the guys – which includes, Reichen’s boyfriend, photographer Mike Ruiz, a model, another model and… a hair salon owner – HERE!

Guacamole With Gwenie!: Finally, in some actual celebrity housewife news – after watching her de-bone a chicken last year, we can’t stop watching Gwyneth Paltrow cook! In her latest GOOP newsletter, the actress shows us how to make shrimp tacos. See it, HERE! (Gwenie, we’re going to pretend that we didn’t see you use canned black beans!)

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