ROLL CALL: Samuel L. Jackson Slams Movie Critic

Your Daily Dispatch of Celebrity Shenanigans

Sam’s Fury: He’s taken on Sith Lords, Snakes without boarding passes, gods from Asgard – and now Samuel L. Jackson is taking aim at movie critics that aren’t down with “The Avengers.” #Avengers fans, NY Times critic AO Scott needs a new job! Let’s help him find one! One he can ACTUALLY do!” the actor, who plays S.H.I.E.L.D. director Nick Fury, Tweeted. In his review, A.O. Scott said the Marvel movie suffers from a “grinding, hectic emptiness” and “bloated cynicism.”

No Roids For Mark!: Speaking of bloated – at least in a muscular manner – sources tell Us Weekly that despite Mark Wahlberg’s impressive guns for the upcoming “Pain and Gain,” the actor is not taking steroids. “Mark Wahlberg definitely is not using any kind of enhancements to pump up,” a source told the mag. His rep also told the mag that he has never used steroids to create his beefcake look.

Today’s Classy Award Goes To…: Super-tanned mom Patricia Krentcil – the woman who pleaded not guilty to bringing her 6-year-old daughter into a tanning bed – had a few choice words for her critics. “They’re jealous, they’re fat and they’re ugly,” the 44-year-old told TMZ. “There’s somebody out there my whole life who doesn’t like me.” Patricia might have had more to say, but the blinding orange glow coming from her body made us look away!

Oh, J.Love: Jennifer Love Hewitt managed to keep herself in the headlines following an appearance on “Chelsea Lately” this week, where she was asked if she would ever consider a “happy ending,” like those her “Client List” character performs on her Lifetime series. The actress said the idea of getting one would be “amazeballs” and then added, “When in Rome!” We miss the days when Jennifer was just an innocent girl who obsessively talked about vajazzling.

-- Jesse Spero

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