Beyonce has kept her personal life notoriously private, but in her upcoming HBO documentary, “Life Is But A Dream,” the superstar opens up about her painful miscarriage.
“About two years ago, I was pregnant for the first time,” Beyonce says in the doc airingFebruary 16, via Us Weekly. “And I heard the heartbeat, which was the most beautiful music I ever heard in my life.”
“I picked out names,” she adds. “I envisioned what my child would look like . . . I was feeling very maternal.”
Tragically, the “Halo” singer was given heartbreaking news early on in the pregnancy.
“I flew back to New York to get my check up — and no heartbeat,” she reveals. “Literally the week before I went to the doctor, everything was fine, but there was no heartbeat.”
Beyonce dealt with the loss the best way she knew how, which was to mourn through music.
“I went into the studio and wrote the saddest song I’ve ever written in my life,” she said, leaving the song title a mystery. “And it was actually the first song I wrote for my album. And it was the best form of therapy for me, because it was the saddest thing I’ve ever been through.”
The miscarriage naturally made Beyonce more hesitant to reveal she was pregnant with daughter Blue Ivy, who was born in January 2012.
“Being pregnant was very much like falling in love,” she said. “You are so open. You are so overjoyed. There’s no words that can express having a baby growing inside of you, so of course you want to scream it out and tell everyone.”
As previously reported on AccessHollywood.com, Bey’s husband, Jay-Z, first revealed the couple’s prior miscarriage in a song penned just days after Blue Ivy’s birth.
“Last time the miscarriage was so tragic/We was afraid you’d disappear/But nah baby you magic,” he rapped in the song, “Glory.”