Billy’s Blog: ‘Dancing With The Stars’: February 27, 2006

9:25pm – One hour and twenty-five minutes into the “Dancing With The Stars” GRAND finale (not to be confused with last Thursday night’s regular finale) and I’m longing for closure.  I have that feeling the only reason I’m watching is because I don’t want to miss out on what people (like ME) will be saying about it on Monday.  Its not the first time I’ve been placed in this situation by a reality show…

You want to believe that, in the end, it won’t be a popularity contest that decides this, but that’s wishful thinking.

I can surmise that a ton of football fans watch ‘DWTS’: how else does one explain Jerry Rice outlasting Stacy Keibler?

Quick notes:

 I want Lisa Rinna’s legs.  Tell me what I have to do to own a set of those for myself.  Wow, 42 is the new 22.  If her body were any better, it would be Stacy Keibler’s.

Mary J. Blige must be backstage scratching her head.  She performed her first song and we saw maybe 3 shots of her…they forgot to tell her she’d be heard, not seen.  They made it up on song #2.

Is Nick Lachey getting paid for “appearing” on the show? He should.

Bruno the judge is the ONLY choice for Martin Short’s role as the wedding planner in “Father of The Bride 3.”

9:45pm – I am standing on the roof of my house threatening to jump. My wife is leaning out the window saying, “Only 15 more minutes”.  I’m picturing some director piping the words “stretch…stretch” in Tom Bergeron’s ear.

9:55pm – they announce Drew and Cheryl as the winners and immediately the lovely Samantha Harris launches into an interview with Jerry Rice.

Drew deserves it.  It’s harder for the guys because they have to lead…and leading a professional has got to be even harder.

Now, the star of the show is unquestionably…Drew’s wife.  She is on the cusp of delivering her first child, her hormones are likely making her feel uneasy, and a by-product of his great work on the show is spending a ton of time with his cute “co-worker”…a cute “brother-sister”, affectionate friendship has developed. My wife and I kept hoping he’d recognize his wife on air.  The continuous hugs and giggles that are shared between Drew and Cheryl cannot sit that well with her no matter how “cool” she is.  I know Drew is a loyal, great husband, but I have had three children in almost 8 years of marriage, I know what I’m talking about.

Remember the “Skating With Celebrities” guy who left his wife for his partner, actress Kristy Swanson…I remeber her saying something to the effect of “we have a brother-sister relationship”….I believe Drew is a bigger man and this does not apply to him, but here’s a real prediction:

Affairs between celebs and their professional dance partners will flare up and end up all over Access Hollywood in the seasons to come…

It’s the morning after and I have spoken to my Executive Producer by phone.

Sure enough, Drew did exactly what he’ll need to do now that he’s back in the light… praised his silent partner…his wife.  I look forward to letting every word of that air.

Changing gears…I have copied something from the Access Hollywood Daybook, the daily bulletin of top items, that I receive at 6am every day…. Too funny:

 Army Archerd reports that while Oscars producer Gil Cates has informed the rappers behind the Oscar-nominated song “It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp” (from “Hustle & Flow”) that they cannot use the f-word, s-word or n-word in their performance, the terms “bitch” and “ho” will be acceptable for telecast. (armyarcherd.com)

The idea of Gil Cates saying “Bitch” and/or “Ho” kills me.  I have to believe he spelled it “Hoe” the first time.