Demi Lovato experienced success at an early age – singing the theme song to “Barney & Friends” at the age of 7 – but, in a new interview, she admitted she struggled with suicidal thoughts at that tender age.
“At the time, I was just so grateful to be on TV, but I was also really struggling,” Demi told Cosmopolitan magazine, which features her on its August 2013 cover.
“Looking back, there was a connection, probably between any kid who’s ever sang that song to Barney, a little place in a child’s heart, a void, that could be filled. And maybe Barney fills it. Even before Barney, I was suicidal. I was 7,” she continued. “With Barney, I guess subliminally, I did have a relationship with this figure that was saving my life in a way… I’ve talked about being bullied and the years of being a teenager, but I went through things when I was younger that I’ve never talked about that probably caused me to turn out the way I ended up turning out.”
Demi hinted she suffered more trauma as a child in her new song, “Warrior.” Asked about the lyrics – “There’s a part of me I can’t get back/A little girl grew up too fast/All it took was once, I’ll never be the same/Now I’m taking back my life today” – the singer/actress said she isn’t ready to talk about what it means.
“My family knows what it’s about,” she told the mag. “When I’m ready to open up that subject with the outside world, then I’ll be free to talk about it. But right now, it’s kind of one of those things where the lyrics speak for me. It’s all in the song.”
The “X Factor” judge said she is proud of herself for overcoming difficulties in her life and she told the mag how she deals with some stressful moments these days.
“If you’re spending your entire early 20s chasing the next party, what are you running away from? That’s not a bada**. What’s a bada** is when you can sit through your problems and feel emotions when you don’t want to have them,” she said. “There have been nights where I’ve had to sit on my hands, because I want to act out, because I physically can’t sit still in the pain I’m dealing with, from looking back and being bullied or other things that happened. And now, as hard as it may be, I will do that. That’s what makes me a bada**. Being a bada** is handling your sh**.”