Jennifer Hudson: ‘I Was Outside Of Myself’ Following Family Murders

Jennifer Hudson has spoken out about the brutal murders of her mother, brother and nephew.

“It’s all a blur, it was surreal,” she said of the 2008 murders on VH-1’s “Behind the Music: Jennifer Hudson” on Monday. “It was like I was outside of myself.”

The Oscar-winning actress said she leaned on her faith during that time.

“I prayed when I’d get up in the morning and prayed before I laid down at night. If I didn’t I’d wake up depressed… the day wouldn’t go right,” the 28-year-old recalled. “For almost two weeks straight… [I was] inside one room with just family and friends coming in and out. I was pretty much secluded from everything that was going on.”

Though Jennifer says the horrific experience has taken its toll on her – saying, “I feel like I’ve lived about three or four different lives,” the singer says she’s found comfort in raising her 11-month-old son, David, with fiance David Otunga.

”[My son] reminds me of my nephew,” Jennifer said in the interview, explaining that her own mother continues to be a major influence in how she parents her child. “In so many ways I channel her because she was such a great mom. [Little David] makes me feel like the most special person on earth. I want him to get the same love and the same upbringing my mother gave us.”

As previously reported on, the singer’s mother, Darnell Donerson, and brother Jason Hudson were found dead at the time inside the family’s Chicago home with the body of her nephew, Julian King, found several days later.

William Balfour – the estranged husband of Jennifer’s sister, Julia – was charged with the killings.

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