In what can only be described as a pop culture lover’s dream, Lady Gaga appeared alongside Gwyneth Paltrow on BBC’s “The Graham Norton Show” on Friday night, and the dynamic blond beauties had the audience in stitches as they swapped stories of fashion nightmares and discussed preparing their elderly, old-fashioned family members for their more risqué moments in the public eye.
Gwyneth, the daughter of “Meet the Parents” star Blythe Danner and the late producer Bruce Paltrow, struggled to keep a straight face while recalling her dread as she warned her aging grandfather about her famed topless scene in “Shakespeare in Love.”
“My grandfather – I was very close to him — was very conservative, “ Gwyneth told the show’s host, Graham Norton. “I said to him, ‘Grandpa, I think you’re going to be really upset, but I just wanted to let you know that I do kind of expose my breasts in this movie.’
“He was like, ‘Ehh – I’ve seen it before. Two eggs, sunny side up!’” she continued, in her best New York accent.
Lady Gaga followed suit, revealing she’d recently been forced to call her grandmother prior to the airing of her “The Monster Ball” HBO concert special.
“My grandma’s blind – but I still had to call her and warn her because early on in the show I say, ‘I don’t know if you’ve heard, but I have a pretty tremendous d**k, so get your d**ks out,’” Gaga said. “And so I had to call my grandma and [say], ‘I just wanted to explain, Grandma, that it’s really just a metaphor for being strong and being aggressive and having a good time.’
“And she just said, ‘I don’t understand,’” Gaga continued, while the audience erupted into laughter. “My sweet grandma.”
The Irish host then confronted Lady Gaga – who also performed her two latest hits, “Judas” and “Born This Way” on Friday’s show – with a photo of the beloved Mother Monster taking a tumble while walking through London’s Heathrow Airport, saying, “You love clothes and fashion, but fashion sometimes doesn’t love you…”
“Oh, I ate s**t at Heathrow!” Gaga exclaimed. “I had these really big shoes and I was so excited, and I was on the plane going, ‘Oh I can’t wait to show off my shoes – they’re from Japan, they’re custom, they’re like 50-feet-tall,’ I couldn’t wait.
“I took three steps and I f**king fell so flat,” she continued while the audience roared. “All the cameras were on me and I said, ‘ London’s going to think I’m that I’m a wasted mess!’”
“I once had one disaster [that was] like, crazy,” Gwyneth added. “I went to a premiere of a friend’s movie and I was wearing these pink suede pants – it was the ‘90s.”
“Don’t apologize to me about pink suede pants!” Lady Gaga interjected.
“As I sat down, the crotch ripped from there all the way back,” Gwyneth continued, motioning toward her nether regions.
“That’s very nice – good promotion,” Gaga added with a mischievous grin.
“How am I going to get back to my car? My a** is hanging out – literally hanging out – of these pants,” Gwyneth recalled. “Luckily, I had a scarf and I wrapped it around my… bottom. And the next day in the papers they said, ‘Oh it’s a new trend! A scarf around your pants!”
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