ROLL CALL: Bravo’s Andy Cohen Responds To Heidi Montag’s ‘Real Housewives’ Hopes: ‘That Trash Is Delusional!’

Heidi, Don’t Start Packing Your Bags!: Heidi Montag expressed interest in appearing on “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” earlier this week and last night Bravo’s Andy Cohen responded. “That trash is delusional!” Andy said on Thursday’s “Watch What Happens Live,” referring to Heidi. “And I would sooner stab my knives into my own eyes than see her on this network!” Andy then named her the show’s “Jackhole of the Week” Meow! Heidi, we have to agree with Andy, you’re best staying put in the land of obscurity.

Bald Biebs?!: Did Justin Bieber do the unthinkable and shave his career-making coif? The singer appeared on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” on Thursday night and let Jimmy touch his iconic ‘do. When they returned from commercial, Biebs was sporting a shiny bald head – but was it all a joke or real? Find out, HERE!

Despite All Her Rage, She’s Still Just A Rat In A Cage!: Remember D’arcy Wretzky from The Smashing Pumpkins? The former Pumpkins bassist is not having a good week – and it’s only going to continue to get worse until Valentine’s Day. According to E! Online, the musician is behind bars in Michigan for…“animals running at large.” Berrien County Animal Control told E! that Wretzky was cited in 2009 after her horses broke free from her farm and ended up running through town. She reportedly failed to pay the fine and missed four court dates, which lead to arrest on Tuesday morning. A judge put the 42-year-old behind bars for six days. Check out Wretzky’s less-than-flattering mug shot, HERE!

So Long Sammi!: Have “Jersey’s Shore’s” sweethearts, Sammi Giancola and Ronnie Magro, fought their last fight? After Thursday’s massive blowout, where Ronnie hurled every verbal insult possible at his girlfriend and then destroyed all her belongings, Sammi left the show! See the drama, HERE! But will the split last or will Sammi and Ronnie rekindle their toxic love when the cast heads to Italy next season? Let’s hope she finds herself a nice local authentic Guido if she actually makes the trip to the Motherland!