ROLL CALL: Britney, Beyonce & Rosie!

Your Daily Dispatch of Celebrity Shenanigans by Tommy Vergason

February 20, 2007

ONE-WAY TICKET TO BALDSVILLE: reported this weekend, Britney Spears took a commercial flight on Friday from Miami to Los Angeles after spending an incredibly brief time in a rehab facility. It was later Friday evening that Britney shaved off all of her hair at a Los Angeles salon. PEOPLE adds even more drama to this incredible story by reporting that Britney almost missed her flight to Los Angeles. According to their report, Britney allegedly made a mad dash through Miami International Airport to catch her American Airlines flight on Friday, but when she arrived at the gate with her boarding pass, she was told that the flight was closed and the walkway had been retracted from the plane. The article states that David Paulsen, a passenger at an adjoining gate, told PEOPLE what he allegedly saw and heard: “She was really upset. She (said) to the agent, ‘I’ve got to get on this plane to get home to my kids.’ She looked like she was about to cry.” Paulsen says that the ticket agent made a call, and the walkway was re-extended to allow the “relieved” Britney to board the plane, even though it was very crowded and the first class section was entirely full. She reportedly gave the ticket agent an autograph and said “God bless” to onlookers as she boarded the flight.

KARAOKE BLUES: Fast-forward two days to Sunday — post-shaving — where a bewigged Britney Spears is seen out an about in Los Angeles. According to reports by THE NEW YORK DAILY NEWS and US WEEKLY, Britney went to classic LA hotspot Roxy, where she unwittingly stumbled into a private birthday party. It is not known for sure whether Britney was invited to stay once she happened upon the party of about 80 people, but she did stay, regardless, and “spent most of her time sitting alone in a booth,” a Roxy staffer is reported as saying to THE DAILY NEWS. The report contends that many of the staff and partygoers didn’t realize Britney was among them, with one oblivious member of the party even singing a karaoke rendition of “Baby One More Time” in Britney’s presence. Britney allegedly left the party at 1:00 AM, and possibly checked in to the Beverly Hills Hotel for the night, although that has not been confirmed.

More Celebrity Fun After The Video!

LIKE A PHOENIX?: Although it seems to many that Britney has been in something of a downward spiral of late, with each sensational story of her bizarre and reckless behavior leading to the next, it may be premature for anyone to claim that she will never have the musical comeback that so many fans were looking forward to. David Hinckley, Critic-at-Large for THE NEW YORK DAILY NEWS, offers an interesting perspective on the tendency for fans to “forgive and forget” when stars go off the rails, stating that when it all comes down to it, the music is the important thing. He contends that if Britney can get some quality material back on the airwaves, she may very well overcome all of this bad publicity and find herself on top again. His historical account of past stars who have been in similar situations includes Mariah Carey, James Brown, and the Dixie Chicks, among others.

BEYONCE’S WARDROBE MALFUNCTION: Beyonce Knowles shares a story of her own personal embarrassing situation, which, thankfully no one ever saw. While chatting about her Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue photo spread, Beyonce relates a funny story to E!‘s TED CASABLANCA: ?It was when I was in middle school,? she reportedly confesses. ?I was at camp, and we were on this ride…My bottoms just came out underneath the water. Thank God no one saw! It was my own malfunction!? You can read all about Beyonce’s Sports Illustrated experience (with bottoms intact!) .

SHE WORE A RASPBERRY BIKINI: Another beauty gracing the pages of Sports Illustrated’s Swimsuit Issue is Brazilian bombshell Ana Paula Araujo, who reportedly confesses to THE NEW YORK POST’s PAGE SIX that she has a celebrity crush on the artist currently known as Prince. “He’s very good-looking,” she’s reported as saying, “I’d like to get in touch with him.” If Prince decides to give Ana Paula a call, he may want to know about the following little tidbit first. When asked about her ideas for a family, she is said to have responded: “I’d like at least four children – three of them boys.” The report goes on to claim that Araujo’s grandmother had 19 children.

WOULD SHE GO DOWN [UNDER WITH] YOU IN A THEATER?: A celebrity couple rumored to be romantically involved were reportedly spotted together at a movie screening in Australia, says PEOPLE. Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson are said to have arrived together to a screening of Matthew McConaughey‘s “We Are Marshall,” and PEOPLE speculates that it may have been a “date” of sorts for them: “They were cozy ? they chose seats together ? and seemed relaxed although slightly nervous, probably because they were in public together,” an anonymous onlooker claims. “Once the lights dimmed, they chilled out a bit more.” PEOPLE stresses that Hudson and Wilson have allegedly been spotted hanging out together in both California and Hawaii since Hudson divorced her husband, Chris Robinson, in August.

ROSIE’S BOATLOAD OF TRUMP: A celebrity pair who will NEVER be romantically linked are Rosie O’Donnell and Donald Trump. The two have been in a well-documented public feud for some time now, and E!‘s MARC MALKIN reports that Rosie may have added fuel to the fire this Sunday during the opening-night festivities of her latest R Family Vacations cruise to the Caribbean. A passenger on the cruise allegedly tells Malkin that Rosie did a bit with a cardboard cutout of the Donald’s head in an opening-night act, riffing on Donald’s infamous interview with Larry King in which he said that Rosie was “sexually unattractive.” Rosie allegedly alluded to the Donald’s statement in her act, and sarcastically remarked: “It was always my dream to give a balding billionaire a [rhymes with “phoner”].” Referring to the numerous people in the audience videotaping the show, she reportedly said, “Go ahead?put it on YouTube. I don?t care. I?m fine with it.”