Roll Call: Eva’s Language Lessons & J. Lo’s Touring Jitters

Your Daily Dispatch of Celebrity Shenanigans: August 13, 2007 by Tommy Vergason

EVA THE EDUCATOR: When the time comes for kids, Eva Longoria and Tony Parker plan to teach them English, Spanish AND French (the collective languages the couple speak). PEOPLE spoke with Eva at the “Go Diego Go!” fundraiser for Padres Contra El Cancer (Parents Against Cancer), where she praised current shows like “Diego” & “Dora the Explorer” for teaching foreign languages on TV. “Speedy Gonzales was the [only] bilingual character growing up,” she joked, “and all he said was ‘Arriba! Arriba!’”

JENNIFER’S JITTERS: Jennifer Lopez & Marc Anthony are going bilingual for their upcoming tour together, with sets in both English & Spanish. Jennifer told Ryan Seacrest on Friday’s KIIS-FM show that she’s excited to tour with her husband, but a little nervous as well. “It’s actually my first time [touring],” she reportedly said. “I am a little bit scared of the schedule to be honest. I have been on the road with Marc a couple of times, so I have a good tutorial on how to handle it, though.” The tour kicks off in Atlantic City, NJ, on Sept. 29.

THE SHEEN OF LOVE: Palm Beach native Brooke Mueller told the PALM BEACH POST that she’s “found love” with her new fiancee, Charlie Sheen. The aspiring actress and real estate developer is thrilled over her engagement last month to the “Two and a Half Men” star, but she said they’re in no big hurry to tie the knot. “We’re not rushing to the altar,” Mueller is quoted as saying. “We’re just going to live the experience of being engaged.” She expects to become “Brooke Sheen” sometime next year, according to the report.

WHEN IN-LAWS ATTACK!: Kevin Bacon laughingly revealed to TV GUIDE the story of his and Kyra Sedgwick’s engagement announcement to Kyra’s family years ago. “We were at a Christmas party that her mom has every year,” he recalled. “Kyra stood up and said, ‘Kevin and I have an announcement. We’re getting married.’ The first words out of her mother’s mouth were, ‘Oh my God, that’s awful.’ It jumped out before she had a chance to stop it.” He noted that Mrs. Sedgwick was merely afraid to “lose her little girl.”

LAUREN’S UPHILL BATTLE:“The Hills” star Lauren Conrad wants people to know that she doesn’t behave like a little girl. “From the first show I did, people think I’m a spoiled brat and I don’t work hard - just because I was very lucky to grow up in a privileged area,” she reportedly told THE NY DAILY NEWS. “I work harder than most 21-year-olds. I’ve got a clothing line, an accessory line. I’m the spokesperson for a cosmetics company. I go to school and I have a social life.” The MTV show returns for its 3rd season tonight at 10:00 PM on MTV.

DJ FOR DEGENERES: Ellen DeGeneres’ DJ, Jon Abrahams, has reportedly left her talk show to focus on his acting career. USA TODAY reports that the daytime funnylady is looking for a replacement: “I’m looking for somebody to keep up to date on the big issues, like if you want to talk about global warming or the upcoming election or you could talk about small issues, like you could explain to me how Scott Baio is 45 and still single,” she reportedly said in a release. You can apply for the job on the show’s official Web site.

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