ROLL CALL: Jon Gosselin, Spencer Pratt, Heidi Montag & Tim Gunn Unleashed!

Your Daily Dispatch of Celebrity Shenanigans

Tim Gunn Style Slaps Jon Gosselin: It doesn’t take a style guru to know that Octo-dad and recent Vegas playboy Jon Gosselin isn’t making any best-dressed lists – but it does take a fashion maven like “Project Runway’s” Tim Gunn to give Ed Hardy’s biggest fan a proper couture clock upside the head. “In [Jon’s] case, everything is too big,” Tim told Us Weekly on Wednesday. “It is what I refer to as the slobification of America. If you want to dress to feel as though you never got out of bed, then don’t get out of bed!” To be fair to Jon, with eight kids, 1 soon-to-be ex-wife, 1 22-year-old girlfriend and 1 wronged former tabloid reporter in your life, style is probably the last thing on his mind.

Jon ‘The Baller’ Gosselin: He might not dress like a rock star, but when he’s in Las Vegas, Jon Gosselin sure orders like one! According to The New York Post’s Page Six, while in Sin City, the reality dad was spotted throwing back vodka Red Bulls and pomegranate martinis, chasing groups of blondes around the Stack Restaurant at The Mirage, buying shots for his fellow Vegas revelers and getting neck and shoulder massages from a group of girls at Jet nightclub. (That last part made us throw up in our mouths just a little. We apologize for any nausea this news might have caused.)

Miss USA – Obviously Hearing & Visually Impaired: Kudos to Miss USA Kristen Dalton for saying what she was instructed to say! The beauty queen is defending Heidi Montag’s obvious lip-synched performance (we don’t care what Heidi & Spencer say – that performance was not live!) at the Miss Universe pageant. “I thought it was pretty good because she’s known as being a reality TV star, so it’s cool that she came out as a performer, as a dancer and singer,” Kristen told Us Weekly. We hope someone paid you extra to say the word “singer” without laughing!

Spencer Crowned – Cue The Beheading!: Hey Spencer, we’re glad you changed your name to King Spencer Pratt and but we’re also glad you found a party supply store that would sell you a plastic crown and scepter. Now hurry up with that Whopper with cheese, and remember to hold the mayo! XOXO- Roll Call!

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