ROLL CALL: Primetime Jamie Lynn Spears & Posh’s Fashion Quest

Your Daily Dispatch of Celebrity Shenaningans

Jake & Reese Can’t Unplug: Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon took in the Broadway play, “August: Osage County” Sunday but couldn’t keep their hands off their BlackBerrys, Page Six reports. The couple was, “texting on their BlackBerrys the entire time,” according to a fellow theater patron. Luckily for the actors in the play, Jake and Reese “snuck out” during intermission, because audience members were reportedly “much more interested in watching them than the stage,” a source tells the newspaper. Even in the darkness of a theater audience, some celebs are never able to leave the spotlight.

No Bunny Tail For Lindsay: Despite her recent Marilyn Monroe inspired nude photos in New York magazine, Lindsay Lohan was not approached by Playboy to recreate the swim scene in the buff from Monroe’s “Something’s Gotta Give,” Us Magazine reports. Dina Lohan told the mag, “That [offer] never happened. “That would be a no.”

Jamie Lynn Spears All Grown Up: Jamie Lynn Spears is headed to primetime television, appearing in the sitcom “Miss Guided,” starring Judy Greer, Access Hollywood has learned. Spears reportedly spends the first 30 seconds of the episode titled, “Hot Sub” making out with her boyfriend in the backseat of a car. The show is executive produced by Ashton Kutcher, who also makes a cameo. “Zoey 101” fans, you’ve been warned!

Amy’s Late Night Reading: After hitting the town into the wee hours of the morning, Amy Winehouse picked up some light reading, Page Six reports. The Grammy-winning singer reportedly hit up the newly opened Bungalow 8 with pals Tyler James, Mark Ronson, Kelly Osbourne and Kimberly Stewart until 4:30 AM. On her way home, she reportedly made a quick stop at a newsstand to pick up the book, “Amy, Amy, Amy: The Amy Winehouse Story.” There’s nothing quite like a little self-indulgent bedtime story to soothe yourself to sleep.

Posh Vs. Pageant Queens: Fresh off her “Project Runway” judging gig, Victoria Beckham is reportedly bringing her savvy style sense to fashion-challenged Americans, Female First reports. Victoria is reportedly set to star in “Fashion Nightmares,” based on Gordon Ramsey’s “Kitchen Nightmares.” On the show Victoria would reportedly travel the country hunting for fashion-challenged people and give them a posh makeover. “They want her to visit some boutiques and beauty pageants in real backwater towns and to try to whip them into chic shape,” a source told Marie Clare. In a head to head fashion-off between Posh and a pageant queen — we suggest you bet on the Spice Girl!