ROLL CALL: Snooki Wants A ‘Nympho’ Ed Hardy Lover For A Boyfriend!

Your Daily Dispatch of Celebrity Shenanigans

Snooki’s Check List For Love: Snooki’s search for the ever-allusive thing called love continues tonight on MTV’s “Jersey Shore.” In a clip posted on Us Weekly, the pint-sized Dorritos-orange reality cherub runs down her laundry list when it comes to what she needs in a new man. Her criteria includes a “juicehead” who “isn’t a jerk-off” and must also be a “nympho.” Plus, he must love “the gym, the beach, Ed Hardy store.” Snooki, we’d like to suggest this fine Ed Hardy-loving fella for you – hope you like kids and making nice with the ex-wife!

“Jersey” In Japan!: The power of MTV’s “Jersey Shore” has crossed the Pacific and reached Japan – but the GTL gang is going by a different name there. According to CNN, the title of the show translated is, “MTV Jersey Shore — the New Jersey life of macaroni rascals.” No word yet on what the macaroni is a reference too, but we can think of a few ideas!

The Episode Where Kim Gets Stuck In An Elevator: Remember the “Friends” episode where Chandler was stuck in an ATM vestibule with the former Victoria’s Secret model Jill Goodacre? Well, in real life, being stuck in small enclosed spaces isn’t so much fun. Just ask Kim Kardashian! On Wednesday, the reality star Tweeted, “OMG I’m stuck in an elevador!!! Its so hot in here! I’m about to have a panic attack! OMG!” Now, before you get all uber-concerned, and start comparing Kim to those poor Chilean miners trapped underground for two months, Roll Call should inform you that her horrific ordeal lasted a whopping 13 minutes. Before long, her world was back to rainbows and unicorns. Well, at least rainbows (unicorns are unconfirmed). She later Tweeted, “Magical rainbow in La” and posted this Twitpic. Roll Call is thrilled that the natural order has returned to Kim’s world.

Russell’s New Book: Russell Brand has a new book, “Booky Wook 2: This Time It’s Personal,” out today and according to a photo on his blog, you don’t even have to use your eyes to read it! See how Russell demonstrates an alternative way to take in his new tome, HERE! No word yet on how “Booky Wook” will fare off against Snooki’s upcoming booki.