ROLL CALL: Snooki’s Attacker Losing Teaching Job

Your Daily Dispatch of Celebrity Shenanigans

Snooki’s Attacker Takes A Hit To The Bank Account: We’re happy to report some justice news today in Roll Call! “Jersey Shore’s” Snooki has something to celebrate – her attacker, Brad Ferro, who assaulted the pint-sized Princess of Poughkeepsie is losing his job as a high school gym teacher in New York, TMZ reported. The NY City Department of Education is reportedly giving him 30 days to pack up and leave North Queens Community High School. After two weeks of back-to-back assaults (remember last week’s “hippo” attack!), we’re glad to see Snooki get a little redemption!

A Lil’ Katy/Russell In The Works?: Newly engaged couple Katy Perry and Russell Brand were spotted by Us Weekly looking at baby clothes this week in North London. The couple was reportedly seen checking out booties at a local children’s boutique. No word if Katy is actually expecting, but let’s hope if they do have children that someone else dresses that kid!

Another Singing ‘Housewife’: Countess LuAnn de Lesseps of “The Real Housewives of New York City” wants to be the next Kim Zolciak. The Countess has recorded a song, “Money Can’t Buy Class.” “I’m not trying to be Madonna, but I love to sing, and I can sing,” she told E! Online. “I sing all the time for my friends.” And who might The Countess want to lay down some tracks with? “I want to work with Akon,” she said. We don’t have any official word from Akon on the proposed collaboration – but we’re guessing he’s going to be “Tardy” to that singing party.

Hey Heidi – Do We Still Care?: Dear Heidi Montag, we doubt we’ll even illegally download your new album! But we’re glad to see that after three years in the making, that “Superficial,” is finally dropping. For those who do still care, check out her new single, “I’ll Do It,” HERE!