Tony’s Take: ‘Dancing’ Cheapskates (October 13, 2006)

There is something I have to get off my chest. But first, a little scene-setting.

I am in the audience every Tuesday night during ABC?s ?Dancing with the Stars? live broadcast.

I?ve been there?nearly every dance night since the very first season when no one had even heard of the show. No, I didn?t get lost and just ended up there by accident. I have navigation, smarty pants.

Right off the bat I should tell you I love the show. I?m not even a big dance fan?I?m a sports fan?and make no mistake about it?this is like a sporting event. The secondary reason I love this show is because it is family friendly television. As a dad of two daughters, I?m growing to appreciate that small slice of television more and more.

But here?s what I don?t appreciate about the show: They are cheapskates! Wankers is what the British call it. More on the British in a moment.

Actually, the ABC network and parent company Disney are at fault here as Mickey, Pluto and Goofy back up the Brinks truck to the Toontown Bank each week. Let me explain.

You see, on my desk are the ratings for every show on network television last night. (Tuesday October 10th). ?DWTS? is the number one show of the night. Nearly 21-million of you watched the show for 90-minutes. That is the equivalent of you buying a lottery ticket every week and WINNING EVERY WEEK–TWICE. That?s because the results show also ranks nearly as well?always in the week?s top ten shows. It’s a money machine for the network.

Nearly every reality show offers some sort of prize at the end of the competition.Survivor: $1-million, $500-thousand smackers to the runner up!!The Amazing Race: $1-million dollars (and they get to see the world!!)The Apprentice: $250-thousand. So You Think You Can Dance: $100-thousand.Dancing with the Stars: NOTHING!!!

Oh wait, they get a disco ball. Polyester called and it wants its accessory back.U can buy one of those for 10-bucks at Hollywood Surplus on Vine. Whaddup Mickey?

I can tell you professional dancers don?t make much money on the show. They?re paid weekly?as long as they stay on the show.Some may say the stars don?t need the money?and that may be true.But how about a 75/25 split with the pros-75 to the professional dancers. Because in case you haven?t noticed, the world ballroom championships don?t fill the Rose Bowl. They do fill the Rose Room at the Peoria Marriott.

Now I do know that the BBC owns the rights to the show. So I?m taking a shot at the British as well. I?m sure the BBC isn?t using any of the millions it?s making off the show to fund a company-wide dental program. Have you ever been across the pond? The words ?pearly? and whites? are never used in the same sentence.

So I say, give the winners a $500-thousand dollar first prize. It?s just good karma. Oh wait, that?s a show on another network.

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