Top Ten TV Quotes Of The Week

With the Fall TV season back in full swing my friends and I have scoured the channels for the funniest, silliest, most engaging, dramatic or compelling dialogue on TV this week. Here are the Dish’s picks for the Top Ten TV Quotes Of The Week!

# 10 “I know about you and that woman. She’s so old!”
— AMC’s “Mad Men”

Betty Draper finally showing some gumption and confronting her husband Don about his affair with Bobbie Barrett.

# 9 ” I would get into bed and say, ‘Please don’t let me wake up in the morning.’ I thought, ‘I just can’t do it anymore.’”
— ABC’s “Good Morning America”

Alec Baldwin revealing to Diane Sawyer that he contemplated suicide after the phone call of him berating his daughter Ireland was leaked to the tabloid media.

# 8 “I thought it was you. He had an accent.”
— the CW’s “Gossip Girl”

Blair Waldorf trying to explain why she was making out with Chuck Bass to Lord Marcus. The irony being that Ed Westwick in real life is actually British himself, so when he spoke to Leighton Meester earlier it was in his real voice.

# 7 “You’re still in love with Dylan.”
— the CW’s “90210”

Brenda Walsh finally revealing who is the father of Kelly Taylor’s four-year-old son.

# 6 “The only way you are coming off this treadmill, is if you die on it!”
— NBC’s “The Biggest Loser”

Trainer Jillian Michaels to yellow team member Jerry.

# 5 “Toby has been cruisin’ for a bruisin for twelve years and I am now his cruise director.”
— NBC’s “The Office”

Michael Scott on his excitement at having to meet with HR rep Toby Flenderson for his exit interview. (Yes, it’s from a repeat episode from last spring but it’s still darn funny!)

# 4. “Here is what I am saying to you: If you don’t vote, you’re a moron. Not voting is a vote – no it isn’t!! Not voting is just being stupid. Voting is not sexy. Voting is not hip. It is not fashionable. It is not a movie. It is not a videogame. Frankly, voting is a pain in the ass. But here is a word. Look it up. It’s your duty to vote!”
— CBS’s “The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson”

Craig Ferguson makes an emotional plea in his monologue.

# 3. “I dated her. Well, not really dated her. More like metaphorically raped her by having a penis. You [to Foreman] did too.”
— FOX’s “House”

Dr. House on learning that his new patient is the assistant to Patty, from Women’s Majority, the women’s right group.

# 2. “It remains to be seen.”
— HBO’s “Entourage”

Agent Ari Gold, in a rare moment of unvarnished honesty, when fading star client Vince Chase asks if he thinks he’s a good actor.

# 1. “I can see Russia from my house.”
— NBC’s “Saturday Night Live”

Tina Fey as Governor Sarah Palin, explaining her foreign policy credentials.

Thanks to staffers Andrew Lyons, Eugene Monzon and Matt Smith for their help this week!